How To Have Sex Standing Up Like They Do In The Movies

Every good movie has a standing-sex scene that’s always super steamy. (No? Just the flicks I watch?) But IRL, having sex while you’re standing up is a totally different story. Maybe you’ve fumbled, maybe you’ve fallen, or maybe you just can’t seem to get even close to climaxing. If any of that sounds like you, good news: You don’t need to be a stuntwoman to pull it off—and get off.

“Standing sex offers so many possibilities for closeness,” says Janet Brito, PhD, a licensed clinical psychologist and certified sex therapist at the Center for Sexual and Reproductive Health in Honolulu, Hawaii.

“Having sex standing up often allows you to face each other for that intimate eye contact, but unlike lying-down positions, you’re also holding onto each other firmly [so you don’t fall] as you’re grinding and kissing,” she explains. “You get to exchange such intimate and passionate energy.”

Now listen, there’s no denying that standing sex positions are more athletic than the traditional horizontal type. You need balance, coordination, and even the right props to make it successful.

There’s also the fact that you have to be good communicators and truly work together to, well, get the most bang for your buck. But that’s just another opportunity to grow closer, Brito says.

So while the logistics may be tough, having sex standing up is still worth trying (and trying again..and again—practice makes perfect, after all). With some balance, an adventurous spirit, and a happy-go-lucky attitude, sex standing up **might** just become your new favorite way to get it on.

Here’s how to make that rom-com fantasy your own sexy reality:

1. Start with standing foreplay.

Penetration doesn’t have to be the main event. If you’re not in quickie mode, slow things down a bit so that you can milk the amped-up intimacy that comes with being face to face.

“Use your hands and mouth to explore your partner’s body. While your partner stands, use your hands to caress their legs, arms, shoulders, face, belly, and genital areas,” says Brito. (This is a good time to try out that new massage oil.)

2. Grab a supportive prop.

Attempting sex when you and your partner are both just standing straight up on the floor facing each other is neither sustainable nor all that effective, since the angle for entry will be awkward.

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Instead, bring in some type of support, be it a wall that your partner can push you up against, a car hood to bend over, or a kitchen counter, desk, or table (whatever is the more appropriate height) to lean on, says Brito. Adding in a sturdy piece of furniture to shift some of your weight on—and be able to grab if you lose your balance—still counts as standing sex!

Oh, and pro tip: Stick a pillow behind your back—these objects tend to have edges that’ll dig into your spine.

3. Try a beginner-friendly position.

Try a position that doesn’t require mega balance and strength. One option: Get into downward-facing dog in the morning, and let your partner enter you from behind, suggests Brito. This doesn’t give you the eye contact of true standing sex, but it’ll help you adjust to getting frisky off the bed.

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From there, you can work up to propping your elbows on the edge of the bed (facing toward your partner or away, for doggy style). Then you can advance to standing with one knee or foot resting on the bed with your torso upright, with your partner behind or in front of you.

4. Make up for height gaps.

If a height difference between you two makes things more challenging, it’s not Mission Impossible. Try standing on a step of staircase—go ahead and grab onto the railing for balance—or prop a sturdy ottoman up against a wall that you can lean on.

You could also try sitting on top of a table or desk that puts your pelvis at the same height as your partner’s and pretzel your legs around their hips. Scoot to the edge of the surface and let them scoop you up for a few minutes of real standing sex, for a move called Standing Straddle.

Whenever either of you need a break from fighting gravity, slide back onto the furniture, and repeat.

5. Bring oral sex in.

People often equate sex with just intercourse, but oral sex is sex, too—and if that’s what brings you to orgasm, you certainly don’t want to miss going down on each other in the standing position.

Brito recommends a move called Praise My Temple, where the giver is on their knees while the receiver leans against a wall with one foot resting on a nearby chair.

6. Move onto advanced standing sex.

Ready for a show? When you’ve had some time to get comfortable with standing sex (physically and mentally), you can try tougher positions that require more strength and flexibility, says Brito. Remember the Standing Straddle? That’s a great one.